Lucy Vickery presents this week’s Competition
In Competition No. 2694 you were invited to provide the female equivalent to Shakespeare’s Seven Ages of Man.
Thanks to Phyllis Reinhard who submitted a pithy, witty entry that triumphed, she confesses, in a similar competition run by Another Magazine a decade or so ago. This disqualifies it from a place in this week’s winning line-up but not from being reprinted below for our pleasure:
Pampers, pull-ups, PMS,
Playtex pads, the Pill,
Provera as your HRT,
Then Pampers …life’s a thrill.
The overall standard was high, and other competitors who impressed and amused were Noel Petty, David Duncan Jones, Jayne Osborn, Virginia Price Evans and Janet Kenny. The winners, printed below, get £25 each. The bonus fiver belongs to Bill Greenwell.
At first, a bib as floral as it’s pink:
And choral aunts who coo and buy her fluff.
The second act’s some alcopop to drink,
Some sulking hormones, and tattoos and stuff.
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