Lucy Vickery

Competition | 17 December 2011

issue 17 December 2011

In Competition No. 2726 you were asked for a modern version of ‘The Twelve Days of Christmas’ taking as your first line ‘On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love sent to me…’ and continuing for a further twelve.

Perhaps inevitably there was a fair amount of repetition in the entry: plenty of leakers leaking, hacks a-hacking, lawyers laughing and ‘Five Olympic rings’. Still, you were on good form. Here are extracts from three submissions that only just missed out on a place in the winning line-up. ‘Five wiccan charms;/ Four Hamentaschen/ Three Buddhist texts/ Two Tarot packs/ And a card wishing “Happy winterval” ’ (Dominica Roberts); ‘Five MEPs,/ Four dodgy stats,/ Three fat cats,/ Two technocrats,/ And a cartload of subsidised Brie’ (John Whitworth); ‘Nine stirring stanzas,/ Eight oxymorons,/ Seven lively limericks,/ Six double dactyls…’ (Mae Scanlan). The winners get £25 each. Basil Ransome-Davies wins the festive fiver.

Thank you to those who sent seasonal good wishes and to all competitors for a seemingly inexhaustible stream of knockout wit and gobsmacking skill.

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