Competition | 13 August 2011

In Competition No. 2708 you were invited to submit an obituary of either God or Homo sapiens. There is space only to congratulate the winners, printed below, who get £25 each, and to share this delightful and pertinent limerick by Gerard Benson:
There was nothing, then dinosaurs, then
There were mammals and finally men,
Who ruled for a while
In belligerent style,
And then there was nothing again
Brian Murdoch scoops the bonus fiver.

The death has occurred in a Bournemouth nursing home of God, after a protracted battle with rationalism. Although early announcements of his death by Nietzsche proved unfounded, he never really recovered from serious Darwinism. Originally in a group, the Elohim, he went solo under the name Jehovah, but his fans called him simply ‘the creator’. He ousted the long-running Greek and Roman pantheons, and even toppled Northern thrash-metal deities such as Thor. In his early career he became known for violent stunts, sometimes wrecking entire cities with his signature fire and brimstone.