In Competition No. 2612 you were invited to provide an extract from an issue of The Spectator from the year 2109.
Back in the mid-1950s competitors were asked to look into their crystal balls and come up with content from The Spectator of 2080. In the report on the results, they were sternly berated for a lack of inventiveness; Orwell and Wells casting a long shadow over the entry.
Viewed from 1955, the future was somewhat soulless and monochrome, and we are no less pessimistic 60-ish years on, it seems. This time around the smallish postbag was cheering in its quality but spirit-dampening content-wise. I longed for a sliver of optimism amid the dystopian visions of post-apocalyptic social breakdown, remorseless dumbing-down and the death of grammar and spelling as we know it.
Light relief did come in the shape of, among others, Susan Therkelsen and Mike Morrison, who were unlucky losers. The winners, printed below, get £25 each. G.M. Davis pockets £30.
The Spectator has always believed that the best government rules with a light hand. It maintained that credo when, a century ago, parliamentary government proved light-fingered. It never abandoned it even during the cataclysmic social breakdown of the past 50 years and the aggressive rise of foreign empires. Life expectancy may have shrunk, but enterprise and self-reliance thrive. The ascendant politico-economic formations in Britain, such as the Dorking Gang and the Hecatomb raiders of Muswell Hill, even more dynamic than the Russian wealth-creators of the post-Soviet years, have built a viable market, and even a functioning criminal justice system. If this entails harsh and arbitrary procedures, a Hobbesian nightmare for the losers — well, nobody promised them a rose garden. Still concerned for life and property? The good news is this week’s Spectator offer: 10 per cent off a complete Hecatomb or Dorking family protection package.
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