Lucy Vickery

Spectator competition winners: poems about Her late Majesty’s favourite things

‘A corgi beside one, a biddable mascot…’. Credit: Alpha Historica / Alamy Stock Photo 
issue 08 October 2022

In Competition No. 3269, you were invited to write a poem about Her late Majesty’s favourite things.

Alongside the more familiar royal predilections – corgis, horses, Dubonnet and gin, Corrie, the colour blue – was the revelation that the Queen was partial to a spot of heavy metal, and in particular Ozzy Osborne, though perhaps that was just a flight of fancy. Most competitors went the Rodgers & Hammerstein route, but despite some inevitable repetition, it was an instructive and entertaining postbag. An honourable mention goes to Roger Dickinson, Brian Murdoch and Janine Beacham; the winners, printed below, receive £30 each.

O I am frugal, regal And when there’s nothing doing I love to google ‘beagle’ For dog facts worth pursuing   What portraits I love viewing! A Beaton! Annigoni! I think it well worth queuing For Lichfield, even Tony –   I might mimic Berlusconi Until Philip blows a gasket And I like to meet a pony Or to spend the day at Ascot   Let me taste a chocolate biscuit With Mirren or with Neagle! Let me pack a picnic basket! Let me spy a White-tailed Eagle! Bill Greenwell

What is this life if, full of care, We find we have no time to share   The pleasures that we know have been Endorsed by our departed Queen?   No time to follow her advice, To drink Dubonnet, gin and ice   And chocolate cake that chef McGrady Served up for the royal lady.   No time for training well-bred horses, Champions on prestigious courses:   Scarlet, purple, edged with gold: The winning colours, put on hold.   No chance to see, in palace grounds, Cavorting corgis, hear the sounds   Of racing pigeons in the air – For now we only stand and stare. Sylvia Fairley

Walkies with corgis and watching the gee-gees, Laurel and Hardy, George Formby, the Bee Gees, (Fine – not the Bee Gees) – when Vera Lynn sings: These are a few of one’s favourite things.   Picnics and barbecues out in the heather, Balmoral bashes, whatever the weather, Giddy Gay Gordons and wild Highland Flings: These are some more of one’s favourite things.

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