Compensation culture

In Competition No. 2545 you were invited to submit a letter written by a well-known literary character to an insurance company making a personal accident claim.
My favourite ludicrous compensation claim — which generated the classic Sun headline ‘Safeway leaflet crippled my dog’ — was made against the unfortunate supermarket chain by a couple after their dachshund injured itself leaping up to grab a store leaflet that had been posted through the letter-box.
The standard was cracking —  commendations to Noel Petty, John O’Byrne, Mae Scanlon and Mrs E. Emerk. W.J. Webster’s entry strayed from the brief but was too enjoyable to be left out. The winners get £25 apiece, and the bonus fiver goes to Basil Ransome-Davies. The choking Beckettian circularity of his entry brings to mind not only the madness of today’s compensation-seekers but also the impotence of those embroiled in seemingly interminable claims and subject to the impenetrable absurdities of the insurance industry.