Jonny Goodall

Cereal Offenders

Why are international differences greatest at breakfast? Jonny Goodall reports from his gastronomic laboratory in Bournemouth

issue 25 June 2011

Padding into the kitchen at 10 BC (10 minutes Before Coffee) I find my young son, James, crying silently and uncontrollably with laughter behind a giant box of Golden Grahams. He’s peering over the top at Walter, who is popping Weetabix into his mouth — whole, dry and sideways. Unaware he is being observed, our visiting language student from Italy crunches vacantly like a wide-mouthed frog, crumbs cascading down his cardie.

My brain struggles to cope as I inadvertently pour un-boiled water over coffee granules. So this is why James has started getting up far too early for school; he’s setting his alarm to watch ‘our’ students eat breakfast. And who can blame him?

Our house in Bournemouth sees a stream of language students passing through, allowing us all to observe the cultural chasm, which, like me, yawns widest at breakfast. Like a cross between David Attenborough and Basil Fawlty, I am both fascinated and appalled.

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