Celebration

In Competition No. 2471 you were given two opening lines and invited to supply an appropriate song or lyric. No room for chitchat this week. Commendations go to W.J. Webster, Keith Norman and G.M. Davis. The prizewinners, printed below, get £25 each, and the bonus fiver lands in the lap of Brian Murdoch.

Once I was only a wannabee,
But now I’m a big celebrity,
Because I’ve done reality
On Friday nights on the TV.
Now although I’m only twenty-three
And I haven’t a single GCSE,
I’m writing my autobiography
(Well, somebody’s doing the words for me).
It’s easy-peasy to get to be
A really big celebrity
And you don’t have to do much for your fee,
You only have to let the camera see,
When you have a wash or go for a pee
(And your bra size has to be 42D).
You can hear I’ve no musical ability,
And I can’t even tell if I’ve gone off key,
But I’ve got this song on my first CD,
Just because I’m a big celebrity!
Brian Murdoch