Jeremy Clarke Jeremy Clarke

Caught out | 18 September 2004

A social leper tells us of his miserable existence

issue 18 September 2004

The cognoscenti will tell you that the best time to visit the south Devon coast is the autumn. The vulgar summer hordes have departed, the weather in September is generally reliable and accommodation is cheaper. Unfortunately for them, word has got out. The lanes round here were more congested with traffic last week than in July and August, and in town the pavements were packed with cognoscenti looking askance at one another.

Mirroring this trend were this year’s bookings for the holiday let attached to our house. For three consecutive weeks in July, the flat was vacant, yet from now till the middle of November it’s fully booked. I’m not allowed to approach the visitors in the cottage in case I say or do something controversial. My job is to maintain the secluded walled garden, which I carry out diligently, with a slash-and-burn policy, when the occupiers go out for the day.

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