Lloyd Evans Lloyd Evans

Cameron’s ‘anti-corruption summit’ will be a diamond-encrusted joke

The ugly mug of international sleaze reared up at PMQs today. Mike Kane got things going by calling Nigeria ‘fantastically corrupt’. This was his diplomatic welcome to the West Africans arriving for tomorrow’s ‘Anti-Corruption Summit 2016.’ The purpose of the jamboree is to confirm London’s position as the epicentre of dirty money by holding an honesty seminar for the world’s most dishonest people.

The knees-up will take place in the soup-kitchen surroundings of Lancaster House just behind the Ritz. After breakfast, participants will collect their passes from the near-derelict Duke’s Hotel, St James’s Place. Anyone eager to avoid the queue will have pre-bought their ID on the black market. With Piccadilly and Bond Street just a short drive away by armoured car, the wives and mistresses will be able to spend some quality time browsing through panda-fur slippers and tiger-skin clutch-bags while their menfolk tinker with the final communique and proceed to the champagne networking session afterwards.

Dressed in Panama hats the leaders of the world’s newly reformed dictatorships will take the ‘0.7

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