Amazing how many cycling experts came out of the woodwork last week, wasn’t it? Normally most of us couldn’t tell one end of a bike from the other, but give us an Olympic road race six days after Bradley Wiggins wins the Tour de France and all of a sudden we’ve got pelotons coming out of our backsides. With a week of these Games still to go, there’ll be plenty more chances to play the instant aficionado, so here’s your crib sheet for all the events the whole country will be talking about. For five minutes.
Badminton
Invented in India by the British Army, and brought back to Blighty in 1873 at a party given by the Duke of Beaufort at his country estate, hence the name. Forget your cheap plastic shuttlecocks — top players only use real ones, made from cork and goose feathers, and can propel them at over 200mph. The feathers are taken from the bird’s left wing (which for some reason gives a better flight) while the goose is still alive, causing incredible pain. Badminton is the pâté de foie gras of Olympic sports.
Beach volleyball
Invented in California by Paul Johnson (no, sadly, not that one). Waiting for players to turn up for a six-man-per-side game, he decided to try playing with only the two per side present, the number now used. Des Lynam famously quipped that ‘going down the pub is not yet an Olympic sport, but beach volleyball is’, yet the game’s serious standing is shown by the fact that early US sponsors included Winston cigarettes, Schlitz light beer and Jose Cuervo tequila. Shots include the ‘pokey’ (hitting the ball with the knuckles), otherwise known as the ‘camel toe’, while avoiding blocking your opponent on a particular side of the court is a ‘pull-off’.
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