British Gas has turned the builder boyfriend into a socialist

A cleverly worded email has arrived from British Gas to explain why, despite the Prime Minister’s announcement, my gas and electricity is going to rise to £3,761.60 a year.

When I say this email was well worded, I mean it was a master class in stating the indefensible while making it appear reasonable.

You could tell that what they had wanted to type was: ‘Listen here, Missy. That Liz Truss might have told you she’s capping energy prices but we are here to tell you it will be a cold day in hell before that happens. (Leaving hell aside, which we are trying to work up a new tariff for, a cold day in your little house is happening imminently.)

‘From October, your gas bill is not going to be £2,500 or less because you are what we like to call “above average use”. She worked for us lot, by the way. Did you know that? Joined Shell as a graduate trainee: commercial manager for liquid natural gas shipping and contract negotiation, that was her title.