In Competition No. 2378 you were invited to supply an extract from a book entitled either How to Fire an Employee or How to Fill Mental Cavities.
How not to fire an employee was once demonstrated by my friend H, a timid, kindly American publisher who was determined to get rid of a rebarbative member of staff. Hoping that alcohol would fuel his courage, he invited the doomed man to lunch. The brandy was being drunk and H felt the strength welling up in him when the victim leant forward, aimed his finger at H and announced waggishly, ‘You’re fired!’ A year afterwards, visiting New York, I learnt that he was still in the job.
The first title I offered you was, not surprisingly, published in Beverly Hills, the second, less predictably, in Bicester. The prizewinners, printed below, get £30, except for Niall Macdonald, who gets an extra fiver for his Machiavellian contribution.
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