Birth pains

As a general rule, what to expect when you are expecting is a baby, which is always kind of miraculous, but the way everyone carries on in this film you’d think nobody had ever had one before. This is odd, particularly as the latest research has proven that having babies predates the iPod, internet and digital photography, and may even predate the Breville sandwich toaster, although this is not yet known for certain. Still, this all-star ensemble mash-up treats pregnancy as if it were the very latest news, and although it’s meant to be a comedy, did I laugh? I might never have stopped but for one small thing, which I feel obliged to mention: I never started. I sat there stony-faced like a stone, with a face.

This is ‘loosely based’ on the best-selling pregnancy manual of the same name by Heidi Murkoff, although why anyone would want to overlay a narrative on a manual and turn it into a film is anyone’s guess, although I am kind of hoping The Highway Code, starring Daniel Day-Lewis, might be on its way soon.