Ben Miller solves the pensions crisis – by pilfering from Doctor Who set

The new baddie from Doctor Who has come up with a novel solution to private pensions – stealing from the set.

Ben Miller, star of the BBC’s Death in Paradise Drama, will guest star as “a dastardly villain with considerable sideburns” in an episode penned by Mark Gatiss.

Describing himself as a “committed Whovian” he is such a fan that he is nabbing costumes and scripts in the hope that they will increase in value.

Speaking to Mr S in the West End he said, “I’ve taken stuff from set including loads of photos which is very naughty because you’re not allowed to. I’ve kept everything; schedules and all the things you’ve got to wear and the scripts. I’m hording it, I’m seeing it as my pension.”

What foresight. And thanks to Osborne’s optional annuities he’s free to blow it all on a Lamborghini.