Being ‘middle aged’ isn’t what it was

Fashion, forget what they tell you, isn’t about looking good. It’s actually there to remind you that you’re not young anymore. And it’s hit this 36-year-old hard. The boot cuts and bomber jackets of today’s youth are as baffling to me as my skinny jeans doubtless are to them. And the land of male grooming is even more foreign. Up top, the mullet is back. A ‘style’ that was till last Tuesday, like dry ice and synth piano, stuck in 1980s music videos. In 2024, it’s making noise on the heads (and necks) of the kids. Down below, young men are trimming, titivating, shaving. Ten years ago, a man’s razor was for his face. Today, there’s fewer hairs on the genitals of Gen Z than in your average pub lasagne.

I can’t run from the truth in my millennial Converses any longer: my youth is done.