In Competition No. 3076 you were invited to submit seriously misguided love poems.
You seemed to embrace this task especially wholeheartedly, and I admired your powers of invention in finding so many ways of making my toes curl. Even Brexit got a look-in: ‘Let me be your Brexit backstop/ I will never set you free…’ (Ian Barker).
Dishonourable mentions go to Hamish Wilson and David Shields. The winners take £25 each. The extra fiver is Brian Murdoch’s.
Let me compare thee to this bag of chips,
For you are as desirable. They taste
Just slightly salty, like a woman’s lips
And steam invitingly, fresh, hot, and chaste.
In shape each single chip is uniform
And you are also slim, pale, not too long,
And nicely firm.
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