Bad influence: Instagramming from Dubai isn’t ‘work’

January is when the difference between the rich and the poor becomes most evident. Whereas many people face a month plagued by the three Ds — debt, divorce and doldrums — the famous tend to take off for more clement climes. Simon Cowell famously frolics at the Sandy Lane Hotel in Barbados at the start of each new year, and I myself have spent many January days at the Ritz-Carlton — but only the one in Tenerife, because I believe in keeping it real.

This winter, subdued British airports have also seen a mass exodus of a particular youth tribe recognisable by their bright white teeth and deep mahogany tans — the hordes of youngsters who are reality TV stars and/or create content for Instagram. And most of them are going to Dubai.

What draws them to this fiefdom, both garish and dreary, when there are so many beautiful places they could visit? It’s relatively cheap. It’s always hot. And until this week, it was on the UK’s travel corridor list, which meant there was no need to quarantine when returning home. Having little to offer but fancy hotels, Dubai wants to keep them full and craves the exposure these young people bring, even as Covid-19 cases surge (daily infection counts have nearly tripled in the past month). For unformed souls whose fragile sense of self requires ceaseless reassurance from the labels in their clothes and the bowing and scraping of other people, Dubai is perfect. Every car is a limousine and every carpet is red and everything is covered in so much gilt that it makes Versailles look like Bauhaus.

We might have rolled our eyes and trudged grimly on to work in previous Januarys — but with the shutdown of travel that came with the pandemic, watching beautiful people cavort in string bikinis while partaking of a few Sex On The Beaches has brought out the inner Mark Chapman in some stay-at-homes; not everyone gets the chance to kill a Beatle but everyone can go trolling on Twitter.