Back to the future

I wonder how the 2012 Olympics will look, when re-imagined by a BBC docu-drama 64 years hence. If it’s anything like next week’s charming but not exactly unclichéd account of the 1948 Men’s Double Scull — Bert & Dickie (BBC1, Wednesday 25 July) — something like this, I expect, with all sorts of imaginary obstacles thrown in the way to make our hero’s struggle more movie-friendly.

Int. London Olympic Velodrome. 2012 Men’s Keirin final. An elderly man in brightly coloured skintight gear shuffles with the help of a Zimmer frame towards his shiny, high-tech bicycle.

Jaunty Cockney: Bleedin’ ’eck. That old geezer looks like he’d be more comfortable on a penny farving.

Cockney’s mate: You may larf. But that’s Sir Chris Hoy, the man who will restore Britain’s self-respect in these grim days of economic decline and political turmoil.

  Int. 10 Downing Street. Six weeks earlier. The Prime Minister is in his Bullingdon outfit, toying with his Flashman whip.