In Competition No. 2913 you were invited to submit an extract from the school report of a well-known author, living or dead.
Teachers often get it wrong, of course. Eight-year-old Charlotte Brontë was described by hers in less than glowing terms: she ‘writes indifferently’ and ‘knows nothing of grammar, geography, history or accomplishments’. In 1943 Beryl Bainbridge, aged nine, elicited the following tart assessment: ‘Though her written work is the product of an obviously lively imagination, it is a pity that her spelling derives from the same source.’ And according to P.G. Wodehouse’s 1899 report from Dulwich College, he had ‘the most distorted ideas about wit and humour’.
In a strong field, D.C.H. Cartwright’s cynical schoolboy William Thackeray stood out. I was also impressed by Anne Woolfe, John O’Byrne, Gerrard Portslade and C.J. Gleed. The prize-winners, printed below, pocket £30 apiece.
Comments
Join the debate for just $5 for 3 months
Be part of the conversation with other Spectator readers by getting your first three months for $5.
UNLOCK ACCESS Just $5 for 3 monthsAlready a subscriber? Log in