A.J. Goldmann

Assayas’ Personal Shopper is slick, unnecessarily complex and totally irrelevant

Creaking doors, rustling leaves and leaky taps make up the soundtrack of Olivier Assayas’ improbable horror film Personal Shopper. But the most unnerving (and grating) sound in this supernatural fashion show are the iMessage alerts that may or may not be coming from the beyond. If that sounds ridiculous, that’s because, like so much else in this baffling film, it is.

Assayas has made some excellent films over the past two decades and more, and I think his nosedive with Personal Shopper can be explained by his latest muse, Kristen Stewart.

Sure, she’s pretty – if that emaciated-junkie look turns you on. But why the former Twilight star has turned Assayas’ head is simply beyond me. Sure, her delivery is excellent in a slightly stoned, lackadaisical kind of way. Asking anything more of her, though, is stepping into hot water – in this case, hot water coming from a bath tap turned on by a phantom.

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