And then there were four

Where were you when you heard that Zayn Malik had left One Direction? No, me neither, but as my teenage daughter reports, an entire generation of female youth appears to have been traumatised by the event. Not that she gives a monkey’s herself, of course, but she says that everyone she knows knows someone who knows someone who really cares, sometimes to the point of genuine distress. We can laugh, and indeed we have laughed, rather a lot, but for these sufferers, the flavour of life itself has been tainted and a Lake Baikal of tears has been shed. One Direction, once the perfect five, are now an eroded four. And the rest of the world looks on and wonders, which one will go next? And can it be soon, please?

For there is equilibrium in all things, and especially in boybands. I’m not sure when it became the norm for a boyband to be five, but it is and that’s the way it will stay.