The Spectator

Am I the only person who hated Glastonbury?

Reading James Delingpole’s fine piece about ‘the best music festival in the universe’ brought it all flooding back. Twenty years ago, buoyed by rave reviews such as James’s, I headed for Glastonbury full of starry-eyed hope and excitement. What followed were three days of  unremitting misery, memories of which haunt me to this day. Torrential rain, swamp-like conditions, a pathetically inadequate tent, perpetually damp clothes, greasy burgers of dubious  provenance, some ‘colourful’, frankly scary characters and   unspeakable loos all conspired to make it an experience I vowed never to repeat. Even watching the Cure against a backdrop of forked lighting-scarred skies failed to numb the pain.

Fast-forward to 2006, when I finally caved in and agreed to attend the Green Man festival, then in its fourth year. What a difference two decades makes: not a dog on a string or a fire made of plastic cider bottles in sight.

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