Andrew Watts

All boys should own a Swiss Army knife

issue 18 May 2024

Last week, Carl Elsener of Victorinox, makers of the Swiss Army knife (all other manufacturers must refer to their products as ‘Swiss-style knives’), announced that the company is working to develop a knife without any blades in anticipation of modern legislation and safety-conscious consumers. A cutting-edge Swiss Army knife will no longer have a cutting edge.

I’m glad this proposal didn’t come out before Christmas: 2023 was the year my wife finally agreed our son could have a knife of his own. She has friends who won’t let their children wash up knives in case they injure themselves, but let them watch YouTube unsupervised. My son and I were firmly of the view that all small boys should have a Swiss Army knife – as advised in paragraph one of The Dangerous Book for Boys, where it tops the list of ‘Essential Kit’, above even a really good marble or a pencil and paper to write down the car numbers of criminals.

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