Robin Oakley

Age triumphs at Ascot

Photo by Alan Crowhurst/Getty Images for Ascot Racecourse 
issue 17 August 2013

As part of the after-dinner entertainment on a cruise ship recently, I encountered a couple of comedians. One claimed he had recently shared a booking with a topless ventriloquist. I bet nobody saw her lips move.

What was noticeable in both acts, given the seaborne clientele, was the concentration on jokes about ageing, like the chap whose wife, after five gins, undresses back in the cabin, looks in the mirror and bursts into tears, lamenting that she’s got a double chin, her boobs have dropped and everything is sagging: ‘Say something, Henry, to cheer me up.’ ‘Well there’s nothing wrong with your eyesight, love.’

Afloat or ashore, life reaches a point when you start taking particular enjoyment from the achievements of sporting veterans and this year’s Shergar Cup cheered me for precisely that reason.

In Ascot’s August showpiece, four teams of three jockeys representing England and Ireland, Europe, the Rest of the World and ‘The Girls’ compete in six races riding horses drawn by lot.

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