Sometimes I think it would be easier if the government deducted a set amount from my bank account every month to cover ‘incidental stealth taxes’.
Sometimes I think it would be easier if the government deducted a set amount from my bank account every month to cover ‘incidental stealth taxes’.
I’ve noticed that it is less painful to pay your gas and electricity bills by direct debit, so I’m thinking some sort of ‘minor traffic infringements’ standing order might be a good way to proceed. HM Gov and I could arrive at an estimated figure of what I, as a law-abiding citizen, inevitably manage to rack up in fines each year — forgotten congestion charges, parking at my local supermarket for a second longer than permitted, and so on — and come to an agreed monthly amount to spread the cost evenly throughout the year. Some sort of ‘pay as you go’ facility is clearly needed because there are now so many ways of falling foul of the law without knowing it that it is quite impossible to avoid doing the wrong thing. I’ve just been fined, for example, for committing such a puny, pathetic, paltry, fleeting, insignificant, meaningless traffic offence that I have quite given up on the hope that I will ever leave my house in my car without breaking the law.
It happened on Battersea Bridge Road. There I was in my little Peugeot, stuck in the interminable queue that has been piling up there since they closed Albert Bridge, forcing the excess traffic to use Battersea Bridge as an alternative route into town.
After a while, my car reached the traffic lights a few hundred yards from the river but the slowly moving pile-up in front meant that it was impossible to judge whether I would make it through without getting stuck in the middle.
Comments
Join the debate for just £1 a month
Be part of the conversation with other Spectator readers by getting your first three months for £3.
UNLOCK ACCESS Just £1 a monthAlready a subscriber? Log in