A smacker with a spook

I kissed a top FBI agent flush in the mouth while in my cups at Elaine’s last week, and lived to write about it. And it was a stolen kiss, at that. They’re the best kind, now that I’m old enough to see how corny a prelude to a kiss is at my age. I was on my way to the loo when I saw Elaine, the proprietor, talking to the agent. I was introduced and I used a variation of the old Mae West joke, ‘Is that a gun you’re carrying, or do you like my girlfriend?’ Then I grabbed the G-man and kissed her. Special agent Anne Beagan was startled, but did not reach for her gun. Instead, she asked me to sit down and we had a bottle of wine together. Elaine thought we should get married but, even drunk, the Taki rules took effect: when under the influence, take three off.