John Phipps

A podcast that will rescue your relationship: Where Should We Begin? reviewed

Esther Perel's pronouncements are backed by the unanswerable rightness of a minor god

Relationship therapist Esther Perel peels back layers of self-deception until she finds the writhing, needy ganglion at the root of the pain. Image: AP/Shutterstock 
issue 11 September 2021

Let me give you a free piece of relationship advice: just break up. If it’s more work than pleasure, if your heart sinks when they call, if you catch yourself writing ‘have sex’ on your to-do list, break up. Life is short, death is certain, relationships are for loving in, and if you can’t be with the one you love, you can at least leave the one you’re with.

I give this advice because I know that people in bad relationships don’t take it. They are like those evacuation refuseniks, stumping around on the volcanic hillside, saying they’ve lived there 20 years and they’ll be damned if the whole thing blowing sky-high will change that. You may be weary, you may be sad and sorry and enmeshed in tangled webs of silence and rejection, but you’re in it for the long haul. OK. Sit down. I have a podcast for you.

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