Toby Young Toby Young

A marriage of misanthropes

I annoy her so much I fear she may poison me

issue 05 September 2015

This is a cautionary tale for any young couples out there thinking of tying the knot. Be wary of what you have in common — it may end up dividing you.

When I first got together with Caroline, one of the things that made me think we were well suited was her slightly curmudgeonly nature. She wasn’t a full-blown misanthrope like me, but she was fond of a good grumble, particularly about other people. That’s a character trait that can leave you feeling quite isolated — it’s borderline socially unacceptable — so it was quite bonding to discover we both suffered from the same vice. Caroline reminded me of the slogan on a novelty cushion I once saw: ‘If you can’t think of anything nice to say… come and sit next to me.’

I’m not talking about horrible, mean stuff — we didn’t stand in the corner at parties, sniggering about people being fat or having bad teeth.

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