There have been some truly dystopian spectacles during the past year-or-so of lockdowns. Cops using drones to spy on dog-walkers. Park benches sealed off with yellow tape. Curtain-twitchers dialling 999 after seeing the bloke next door go for a cheeky second jog.
But this headline surely tops all of that: ‘Hugs will finally be legal again from next Monday.’ Read that again. We live in a country in which the government has accrued so much power that it now gets to tell us when we may hug each other. This should send a chill down the spines of all who care for liberty.
To be honest, I wasn’t even aware hugging had been outlawed. I’ve been hugging people for months. Also, government officials thought they could give a green-light to boozing — we’ve been allowed to drink outdoors, in wind and hail, since 12 April — and that this wouldn’t trigger an outburst of hugging? Have they ever met a drunk person?
Should I now expect to be interrogated for my hug-crimes? To name names? To dob in everyone who reciprocated the hug rather than saying: ‘STOP! We’re only allowed to bump elbows’? And must I now cease all human contact until next Monday, when officialdom will graciously return to me the right to throw my arms around an old friend or family member? It’s madness.
The discussion about hugging over the past 48 hours has been gloriously nuts
The discussion about hugging over the past 48 hours has been gloriously nuts.
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