A bluffer’s guide to (yet another) Tory leadership race

Here we go again – another leadership contest, another round of intense Westminster blather. Lightweight would-be commentators may feel their energy flagging as they prepare to analyse this next phase of high-level political violence. But alpha bluffers do not fret. We know that there is no such thing as a ‘tired talking point’ – although that is a handy phrase in any serious conversation. Try these ten fresh, handy sentences to keep you sounding shrewd as the Tories commit hara-kiri once more and everything falls apart:

1. Whither the one-nation caucus? Oh yes, you know your ‘Tory tribes’. You understand the complexities of the ‘uncivil war’ within the party. Say ‘whither’ with a wisp of irony to show you know you are speaking fluent fogey. If your listeners seem impressed, add, for good measure: ‘perhaps the wets are not so wet after all’.

2. We’re still fighting over Brexit, I’m afraid. You know it’s an obvious point but you have to make it.