7 easy steps to becoming a male feminist

Most men have been appalled at the abusive behaviour unveiled by the #MeToo movement. We have reflected on past indiscretions, salacious conduct and incidents of raw maleness and we feel shame. We wish to show contrition and demonstrate our commitment to feminism but we just don’t know how. We feel excluded by third-wave feminism and we are in awe at the oncoming fourth wave.

Something had to be done. So I went undercover and ‘identified’ as a feminist woman to produce her/his guide to help you/him/her become a true feminist, a ‘FeMan’ in fact. Just follow these simple steps.

1. How to look at a woman

Feminists have discovered that sometimes men are sexually attracted to women. Men become aware of the physical attributes and characteristics of a particular woman and they are enticed. For example, a man may appreciate the elegant curve of a woman’s neck, the way she laughs or smiles, or a man may have noticed the outline of a woman’s breasts as she scanned his avocado at Waitrose.