Blame it all on the middle-class drug users

We can suffer a lethal pandemic with lockdowns, petrol shortages and supermarket shelves almost entirely denuded of sausages. But when Facebook and its various ahellspawn offspring go down for seven hours, the country is sent into a tailspin of misery and confusion.

On Monday, Facebook users could be seen out on the streets of our towns and cities accosting strangers and explaining to them exactly what they had for supper the night before, or showing photographs of themselves with a couple of friends enjoying a night out in a pub in Ruabon. All they wanted, these people, was a thumbs up from those strangers, or a warm hug or a kiss. But many of the people they approached were unfamiliar with the mechanisms Facebook has employed to give succour to the needy and the deranged, and merely looked bewildered and slightly frightened by these advances. God only knows what the mental health implications will be.