Spectator Life

How to survive the party season

Spectator Life writers share their tips

  • From Spectator Life
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December is here and it’s going to be murder out there from now until the new year. Spectactor Life writers explain how to get through it – from swerving bores and turning down invitations to lining your stomach and crashing with panache…

Swerve bores

Celia Walden

When trying to escape the party bore, pick an excuse that’s as close to the truth as possible: ‘So sorry – just seen a man with a tray of bellinis,’ or ‘Be right back: I love pigs in blankets!’ It took me decades to work out that only the most realistic line won’t hamper the rest of your night. I gave up my one-time favourite, from the 1990s classic Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion – ‘I cut my foot before and my shoe is filling up with blood’ – because of the limping necessitated, and there’s only so many times you can use the old ‘I’m just going to run to the ladies’ tactic before people start to wonder whether you’re a) incontinent or b) Kate Moss.

Arrive late

Joan Collins

There are various simple ways to survive the six-week explosion of embossed white-card invitations, exclusive ‘e-vites’ and the occasional last-minute phone call that many of us receive between November and the new year. My best advice is to bin the invitations that celebrate the opening of a restaurant, shop or gallery. In my experience these will be choc-a-bloc with people I don’t know among a sprinkling of paparazzos. Conserve your energies for those intimate gatherings where you are sure to see plenty of friends and no cameras. Once you’ve decided which venue you will honour with your presence, here are some survival tips: eat something before you leave – some soup, a hard-boiled egg, hummus on crackers; alcohol on an empty stomach is the quickest route to a hangover.

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